no,its not lost as in the AXN LOST..
its more of....
the feeling of being lost when you have no idea what to choose,or what to do..
you have your choices laid out for u (or in some cases,non at all)
and u just stare at them blankly...
wondering which to pick,where to go...
what the next step should be..
but at the same time..
life is like a game of
chess!!
anticipate your opponents move while taking the risk as you move.
or if your smart enough,con your opponent into doing what you want them to do and beat them to death in their own game.
my opponent : life
with all my time spent pondering on my puny existence,i realized I don't really know who i am.
i don't really know what i like,
what i want..
i have even lost track of my so called 'goals' in life.
and then i pondered more on why it was so...
and i realized,it all started with being who i want ppl to see me as.and at times,they played a role in making me who i am now.take an incident today for example,when after track and field training (more like baking in the sun) my schedule was all back tracked and i kinda took it out on my mum.i poured out my frustrations of being back tracking on time all because i was assured that i would be back on time which was just a lie.why?
because there exist a group of ppl who are ambitions to win everything, dragging the entire team with them not realising that we are all humans with our own individual capability.no 2 ppl are alike in anything as much as they claime they are.
i hate having my schedule rescheduled,especially when its not necessary and could have been avoided.
my actions had a cascading effect,mostly on my mum.
she waited for me for lunch,ended up eating late with me and i felt bad for it coz eventhough she could have eaten earlier,she waited despite knowing she had breakfast earlier than me before going for her morning jogs . i never like to make ppl wait for me,neither do i like ppl waiting for me.after gobbling lunch like a turkey,had to push her to rush me back to uni to help my junior with osce.
while in the car,she said something that started this ingenius thought :
Don't let ppl push you around.Either you push them,or put ur foot down and tell them to bugger off.In the end,ask yourself what do u get out of doing things for ppl.
it sounds selfish,but i felt that in that particular situation,it fitted like the last piece of a jigsaw.i've been letting ppl push me around,telling me what to do,when and where to go.so much that,without it,i feel like i'm a wondering sheep with no purpose.i've lost track of my life.
the feeling of being lost when you have no idea what to choose,or what to do..you have your choices laid out for u (or in some cases,non at all)
and u just stare at them blankly...
wondering which to pick,where to go...
what the next step should be..
but at the same time..
life is like a game of
chess!!anticipate your opponents move while taking the risk as you move.
or if your smart enough,con your opponent into doing what you want them to do and beat them to death in their own game.
my opponent : life
with all my time spent pondering on my puny existence,i realized I don't really know who i am.
i don't really know what i like,
what i want..
i have even lost track of my so called 'goals' in life.
and then i pondered more on why it was so...
and i realized,it all started with being who i want ppl to see me as.and at times,they played a role in making me who i am now.take an incident today for example,when after track and field training (more like baking in the sun) my schedule was all back tracked and i kinda took it out on my mum.i poured out my frustrations of being back tracking on time all because i was assured that i would be back on time which was just a lie.why?
because there exist a group of ppl who are ambitions to win everything, dragging the entire team with them not realising that we are all humans with our own individual capability.no 2 ppl are alike in anything as much as they claime they are.
i hate having my schedule rescheduled,especially when its not necessary and could have been avoided.
my actions had a cascading effect,mostly on my mum.
she waited for me for lunch,ended up eating late with me and i felt bad for it coz eventhough she could have eaten earlier,she waited despite knowing she had breakfast earlier than me before going for her morning jogs . i never like to make ppl wait for me,neither do i like ppl waiting for me.after gobbling lunch like a turkey,had to push her to rush me back to uni to help my junior with osce.
while in the car,she said something that started this ingenius thought :
Don't let ppl push you around.Either you push them,or put ur foot down and tell them to bugger off.In the end,ask yourself what do u get out of doing things for ppl.
it sounds selfish,but i felt that in that particular situation,it fitted like the last piece of a jigsaw.i've been letting ppl push me around,telling me what to do,when and where to go.so much that,without it,i feel like i'm a wondering sheep with no purpose.i've lost track of my life.
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